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Pay It Forward: Love It Or Give It

REFLECTIONS by Jane[su_dropcap style=”flat”]Y[/su_dropcap]ESTERDAY MY daughter told me she has now kept clothes long enough that they have been in style, out of style, and are now again, considered stylish. I can relate. It’s been many months now, but the look of disbelief on my best friend’s face is still etched in my memory as we stood in front of my newly built walk-in closet. You see, while I was showing off my orderly shelves and rows of clothing organized neatly by color and item, she was speechless, but then blurted out, “How can anyone possibly wear all these clothes!?” Now it was my turn to be speechless.

I admit I didn’t feel guilty, not even a touch of remorse when I told her, I had enough outfits that I could go three months and never wear the same thing twice. But we then went out for our customary 3-mile walk and when we returned, her to her own sufficient closet, and me to my excessively stocked one, I had a change of heart. Granted, I had been collecting for more than fifteen years, and much of the apparel had been purchased from resale shops, so it wasn’t the monetary value in question. It was the volume.

Not coincidentally, a few days later another friend relayed her desire to simplify her life. Her solution was to rid her closets and storage areas of duplicates and non-essential household items. Curious, I asked her why she was suddenly compelled to purge things she had been holding onto for years. She told me that one day she was thinking about how hard it was to force herself to get into spring cleaning and realized how much easier it would be if she divested herself of hoarded possessions. She was struck with an urgency to give away things she would likely never use, to people could actually appreciate them. She said when she started giving things away she was suddenly aware of how greedy it was to keep things that were no longer enjoyable to her or anyone else while buried in boxes under three feet of clutter.

That was my Aha moment, my epiphany. It literally came down to need and greed. Before I continue, let me segue a bit and interject right up front that this is my story and I’m not trying to impress upon you that the actions I took then and continue to act on today are obligatory for you. They are not. This is one way that I have found to Pay It Forward, and it might give you some ideas of how you can as well.

After my encounter with my two friends, I began to think back to when I was a young mom and had literally three nice dresses to wear to work. I rotated them for months before I could afford to buy additional items at Goodwill and Salvation Army thrift stores. I started collecting articles of clothing every time I got paid, and that’s how I started stocking my closet. Through the years I donated some items back, gave some away, turned some into rags, but my wardrobe grew, as did my shelves of shoes, book collection, magazine assortment, notebooks, knick-knacks, trinkets, cosmetics, and stuff. Nothing expensive, nothing of value, not a bit of attached sentimentality, just stuff.

I wish I could admit that I took immediate action, clearing closets and shelves, but no, that wasn’t how it happened. It was weeks later that I received word of a family in my community who lost everything when their house burned to the ground. That was incentive. After promising a couple bags of clothing, my final count was eight over-stuffed bags of clothes and shoes.

I’ve read books like Organizing from the Inside Out, Secrets of Getting Organized, The Messies Manual. I’ve studied resources like Sidetracked Home Executive, Fly Lady Methods, Unstuffed, and I never pass up the chance to read an article on de-cluttering and organizing. Advice ranges from buying storage bins and boxes to stop buying storage bins and boxes. See what I mean? Every method has some form of action to take, but whether they work or not is subject to trial and error. Then there’s the forming of new habits if the effects are to be sustaining. I found a satisfying organizing trick that works best for me. I call it my failsafe action plan and it’s easy and effective every time. Pay It Forward! Give things away without wanting or expecting anything in return.

These are a few of my favorite practices:

Donate duplicates. We need more than one spatula or bowl scraper. True, but do you need six of them? I don’t. Maybe you do. But you get the picture. More than needed is clutter, and, let’s call it – more than enough.

When I buy something new, like a pair of socks, I get rid of at least one pair of old socks. The reason I bought new socks in the first place is because I’m tired of wearing ones that let my toes peek through.

Put a box in an inconspicuous place and fill it up. Please examine what you put in the box though. If it’s junk to you, it probably needs to be dumped in the trash bin, not the donation box. As you open closet doors and cupboard drawers, look at the contents with a giving eye. My goal is to put at least one thing in the box each day, but some days I put in more, other days nothing at all. Ask yourself, what can I give away today that I don’t need or want? Not convincing enough? Think of items in terms of love. Do you need to keep this item because you love it? Do you want to keep it because you love it? Remember need … or greed. If you don’t need it, want it, or love it – leave it!

If you aren’t absolutely in love with that picture anymore or if that blue and silver vase has no love value to you, donate it. You don’t know when something you give away will be a treasure to someone else. The key is to fill the box with items that are still useful and in good condition, then take it to a donation site – quickly: a) before you change your mind and b) to be a generous giver, not a greedy hoarder. Ewwww. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

So! Does anyone really want used things? I remember scouring thrift shops as a newly married couple and being excited to find a picture for our wall and lamp that still worked. I bought an old book-case and a wooden rocking chair for less than five dollars, painted them glossy black and applied a gold leaf decal. I thought I had an ensemble worth a hundred dollars. Yes, people really want used things … as long as they are useable.

Pay It Forward comes in a multi-faceted array of deeds and is exercised through a variety of actions. Any act of kindness qualifies as a Pay It Forward practice. Think of it this way:

I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

–Stephen Grellet

Pay It Forward is more than a craze, more than a cycle, more than an action, more than a nice story. Pay It Forward is sharing what we have with someone who doesn’t have. Pay It Forward is giving something in exchange for nothing. Pay It Forward is a trend that makes the world a better place. Pay It Forward is as easy as saying yes, I can give so you can have.

The Salvation Army from the city closest to me sends a truck around our town a couple times a year. All we have to do is put items in bags or boxes and set them in our front yard with a tag marked Donation, and they magically disappear. This past year a Goodwill donation site moved into a storefront next to our grocery store. If I drove 20 miles there would be a Salvation Army. It’s just a few miles further to donate items for charities that charge nothing to people who need clothes, shoes, and household items. If you’re interested in finding places to donate items that fall into the categories of “don’t need”, “don’t want”, “it’s greedy to hang onto this”, do an Internet search of your area. I used Google, but you can use any search engine you prefer. Or if you have an old weathered phone book, chances are the yellow pages are still an easy way to “let your fingers do the walking”.

In the next articles leading up to Pay It Forward Day, we’ll talk about other ways you can get into the spirit of Pay It Forward.

Resources referenced in this article:

Pay It Forward Day http://payitforwardday.com/

Organizing from the Inside Out http://www.juliemorgenstern.com/

The Fly Lady http://www.flylady.net/

Unstuffed http://www.zondervan.com/unstuffed

Jane Anderson
Jane Andersonhttp://refininggrace.com/
JANE’s professional experience is scattered across industries from financial services and insurance to engineering and manufacturing. Jane sees her background in writing and editing website content as the foundation to her current love of social media. Being an avid reader, meticulous note taker and lifelong learner has fostered her natural pursuit of sharing her world through writing. Reading books and summarizing content started as a hobby and has since grown to be a major part of her vocational experience. Jane says, “Authors pour their heart and soul into writing their book. When I write a review, it’s with intent to celebrate the book and promote the author.” Jane claims to be 'the best follower you'll ever want to meet' and has been repeatedly called servant leader, eternal cheerleader, social media evangelist, and inspirational go-to person. Jane is a contributing author to the inspiring book Chaos to Clarity: Sacred Stories of Transformational Change.

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2 CONVERSATIONS

  1. Jane, you cannot believe how many times I have gone through my closet and wondered how I came into having what I am now having to go through. In doing so now religiously on a month to month basis, it makes me feel as though passing on the excess and not replenishing unless I really need to, hopefully makes someone else’s day a little brighter. Blessings

    • Lynn, I can sure relate! When we moved into a much smaller home 13 years ago, I vowed to be a minimalist and not get or keep so many items. I have no idea where all my stuff came from, but I think what I heard a few years ago is true. it used to be that the person who made all the money was the person who sold you all the stuff. Now the person who makes all the money is the one who helps you get rid of all the stuff. I try very hard to take care of my things so they stay in good condition for a long time. That way, just like you, when I give things away I don’t feel like I’m giving cast offs. I can give away things that still have value and “hopefully makes someone else’s day a little brighter.” Be blessed, my friend.

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